Life is surreal.  We plan , we love never knowing what’s around the corner. We keep moving forward , until something stops us in our tracks.  This is what happened about a month ago when I found out that a dear friend and family member  had been diagnosed with cancer, she chose not tell many people and to fight the battle in her own way – for the past 7 years.  We would see each other at family events since her diagnosis, she was the same as always, funny, laughing, full of life, abusing my husband as always about one thing or another.  The final event was her mothers 80th BD party.  When I walked in I didn’t see her, heard her but when I really looked I was shocked.  She was half the person she was – weight wise but still had the biggest smile, joking about her weight loss.   I sat down beside her, as always, we started talking – still I had no clue how sick she really was.  She told me she didn’t want to talk about her illness when I asked what was going on.  So we talked about everything else, the kids, the awesome parties her and her husband always had, just things like that, not  knowing that would be the final time the two of had a really great conversation, she maybe did but I didn’t.  Although she didn’t look good I had hope that she would get stronger by the next time I saw her,  she told me herself how much stronger and better she felt and how she just wanted to drive herself to the mall and go shopping.

Two weeks ago,  we got word that she might not make it past the weekend.  We rushed to the hospital to see her and say our good-byes.  When we arrived she did recognize us, but only for a spit second before she drifted off.  We returned to the hospital  a week ago Thursday to see her once more,  this time no recognition,  I’m not sure she even knew we were there, we spent a bit of time with her and her husband.  The news came last Saturday that she passed over night.  I’m saddened by the loss of this beautiful soul, someone I’m happy to have had the privilege to also call my friend.  Part of me is angry that I didn’t know what was going on sooner, not sure what I could have done –  probably spend more time with her,  her husband told us she didn’t want to hurt everyone around her with the news.  I prayed for a miracle everyday! I was too late, my prayers unanswered.

I have been reflecting on the first time I met her.  I was my husbands plus one to her daughters baptism.  She welcomed me from that first day I met her, I even picked the same wedding date as she had without knowing. After we got married we spent more time with them and even celebrated a few anniversaries with them.  After the birth of my children we went to all the birthdays, we would see them on either christmas day or boxing day, it was a tradition for many years.  As the kids got bigger, activities took over and we didn’t spend as much time together as we used to, but the occasional party or  big family event always brought us together.   Laughing, talking like we had just seen each other yesterday.  My eyes are tearing as the memories flood,  never to be forgotten.  Sorry to have rambled on so much.. and thank you for continuing to read my babble.  Rest in Peace my dear friend – ❤️ u now and forever, I will miss you more than you will ever know.  You are  my inspiration 😘




6 thoughts on “

  1. Sending you lots of hugs! I’m so sorry your dear friend passed. I’m glad you shared about her and your bond. It sounds like it was necessary to her to separate her illness from your relationship, which is understandable, but still hurts, huh? Hugs.

    I hope as you process this loss and grieve, you continue to share cherished memories with loved ones and friends. I don’t understand the psychology behind it, but discovered for myself it’s surprisingly helpful. 💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

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